Bai People’s Wedding Custom

Bai People’s wedding always experience the following procedures: courtship through a go-between, drawing the eight characters about the birth, congratulating, choosing wedding day, accepting courtship, sending wedding letters, and worshiping at wedding. Before getting married, the bridegroom’s side will send a pig as gift, the bride’s side will prepare dowries, cry to express the deep passion with sisters and guests, and sing a song while crying to recall mother’s love. On the wedding day, when people from bridegroom’s side to meet the bride at her home, the bride’s side will light big fire, throw chopsticks, kill a chicken to ward off evil, and send people to pull the sedan-chair. After arriving at the bridegroom’s home, the couple will perform formal bows and worship heaven and earth, and some people will tease in bridal chamber.

Bai People’wedding usually lasts for three jolly days.
The first day is called the day of “walking in tent”. The bridegroom will have a decorated tent built befor the wedding day. In the eve of wedding day, he will invite local actors to sing and act in Yunnan Opera (usually called wooden stool opera, with one person play musical instrument, others sing and play different roles), or to sing songs of congratulations and greetings accompanied by suona, as well as melodies like Daben song. Guests will eat, drink and taste various fruit, tea, wine and so on.. Singing and eating, the party will not be over until late night. All the people that are present, no matter old or young, male or female, will taste rice dumplings in the same bowl, to bless the wedding a happy ending in advance.

The second day is the wedding day. The reception begins from moring, guests taste fruit and wine first, and have dishes then. At this time, accompanied by a bestman, the bridegroom will offer wine and dishes respecfully, usually bending his knees and holding the tray by two palms, to guests table by table in the music of “Dragon Going Up to Heaven” played by suona. When meeting the bride, led by the go-between, bestman and bridesmaid will go the bride’s home in music played by suona (the bridegroom is not allowed to to together in some places). On arrival, suona player is required to play cheerful musics such as “Bees Crossing a River”, “Big Procession”, “Melody of Meeting Bride”, etc, for at least six times. Until then, several senior people from bride’s side will come out to receive them and let them in. What is more interesting, sometimes when they are about to stride in, these seniors may suddenly stop them and raise some unexpected questions or several couplet to the go-between and bestman, asking for response, for example: “where are you coming from?”, “what have you met on the way?”…. This custom is called “Test on Road”. The answer should not only be fluent without any hesitation, but be quick, glib, humorous and knowledgable. Any lagging response may result in a bright laughter full of happiness. For some places, the bridegroom is necessary to meet the bride personally, thus, “Test on Road” is also called “Test for Son-in-Law” or “Test for Bridegroom”

After the group of people sent by the bridegroom to meet the bride enter bride’s house, there will be four to six little boys respectfully offering them bitter tea, sweet tea and sugar tea in turn. Then the go-between (or bridegroom in some places) will bow and propose toast to the bride’s parents, eldr brother and his wife, younger brother and sister, and other elders. The bride’s parents will wrap a red silk aroud go-between’s child. Then, the bride will cry to express the deep passion with her parents, brothers, sister-in-laws, sisters, other elders and friends. It’s not simply a cry, but the bride has to cry while singing to express her thankness to her parents, brotherly affection to her brothers and their wives, friendship to her friends, and respect to elders, to express that she will not know how to live once leaving them. If there’s conflict between sister-in-laws, the bride could take the occasion to sing her dissatisfaction out. People call this “Cry Before Marriage”, after which the bride go-off with the bridegroom’s group.

One thing more, the bridegroom or his fellows must ride horses of great stature to meet the bride. After being taken back to bridegroom’s home, the bride, as well as the bridegroom, will have dinner together with guests. When preparing to enter the bridal chamber, there will be two little boys about ten years old running quickly from the stairs upto the chamber with Songming torches in their hands. The bride, accompanies by two bridesmaik, in the laughter when people are swarming to nip the bride, runs into the chamber with big strides. During her run, guests will splash popcorns towards her on one side, and nip her warmly on the other side. In Bai People’s wedding, “nip” is a amicable blessing. If any bride has few people to nip her, that means she is not popular. The old saying: “to beat is to adore, to scold is to love” could find its best expression in Bai People’s wedding custom, Dali, Yunnan.

The decoration of bridal chamber is also particular. Generally, there will be a saddle on the threshold, a sieve hanging on the door, a mirrow in the sieve, a bow on the mirror, and three arrows pointing forward on the string. These items are all mascots to bless that the couple will be industrious, brave and happy in future life. After the bride staying in the chamber for a moment, there will be a ceremony to worship heaven and earth, and bow to parents-in-law. In some places, it’s quite interesting that when entering the chamber, the new couple will rush to sit on pillows, because the one who sit on the pillow first will call the tune in the house.

In the bridal chamber, bestmen often like to sprinkle some chilli powder in the bason, and mix lots of chilli powder and seed powder of Chinese prickly ash into wine and dishes. Thus, the newlywed couple will feel so bitter and hot that they burst into tears, and sneeze continuously. This causes a long lasting laugh of guests, and the chamber is overflowed with a unique atmosphere of happiness. It’s just because in Bai People’s language, the pronounciation of “hot and spicy” is the same with that of “intimate and wealthy” that people do so to express blessings.

After the hot and spicy experience, it’s time for the newlywed couple to drink the wine from each other’s cup. It’s a symbol of “mutual respect” and “living in love and harmony forever”. In the evening, according to the custom of some places, the bride, bride’s parents, bridesmaid, and elder women of bridegroom’s side will sit together to have a dinner called “Dinner for Bride”. After the dinner, a ceremony called “Chu Bai” (Bow to Relatives) will start in the joyful music played by suona. On this ceremony, the bride will bow to bridegroom’s elders, and send every person a pair of cloth shoes made by herself. The elders, in return, may send her some small gifts. Then, the younger generation, together with children of neighborhood, will bow to the bride, surely, each of them will get some money or a gift. On this occasion, you’ll see the eleders are smilling, youngers are elated, onlookers are talking and laughing in music…, all of these make the wedding happier and jollier.

After this ceremony, young people may invade into the bridal chamber to tease the new couple while tasting snaks brought from the bride’s home.

The day after the wedding day is called “cordially seeing-off day”. The bridegroom’s home will cordially see the God of Happiness off. The bride will show her cooking skill by cooking a table of delicious dishes, with fish to be the main course. Thus, this dinner is also called “Fish Dinner”.

The third day after the wedding day is for the bride to visit her own family with her husband. They go back together to see his inlaws, but they have to be back before sunset, because a local practice says “the bridal chamber cannot be empty within ten days after wedding”. On the seventhday after wedding, the new couple must go to the local temple to worship the local god, praying for a harmonious family and a son.